Community Pool

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As a brand new blogger (restarting after some severe medical issues) this seems like it will be very helpful! I could use any and all feedback to get me motivated – my blog is ME my life, my experiences in living with chronic illness, recovery and venturing into the world EXCITED AND FREE TO EXPLORE and I want to share my experiences in both dealing with chronic conditions as well as adventures in this journey and how all of it works together and helps me increase quality of life…blah blah blah

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Blogging reminder

Uncategorized,

When my sponsor suggested blogging about my disease, especially during times when symptoms are severe and I stay home 4 days in a row – she said reaching out, networking with others that have Menieres, Anxiety and other chronic illnessez will help you – I thought hmmmm- I will give it a whirl! Well a whirl is what it does! I start to type about symptoms or experiences and I feel worse! Doctor said sympathetic nervous system. I think that’s what she calls it! So, yah, not working for me!

I get an email saying…meet your blogging goal update blog today! I am struggling to type this, 4 hours later from starting to type a paragraph I will hit enter on this post! Ugh met my goal…pushing self! I think if you have Menieres and you read this you will know its not comfg on these severe days. Sunglasses on in the house, laying down, windows closed curtains drawn, no sound
please! Hope it passes soon! I didn’t spell check. There goal met!

The Killing of Georgie – Rod Stewart

My friend sent a text today, she said “Rod Stewart’s song The Killing of Georgie -reminds me of you.” I texted her back, Hmmmm I am not familiar with this song, but I am going to listen to it right now! I listened and I listened again, and I started to cry. I listened again and I started to sob.  How had I not heard this song before? I suppose it was suppose to be a song I heard exactly this day!  I felt his pain. I felt my pain, my grief, I felt his torture and it was that day all over again!  A song did all that?!  WOW! Will it ever get easier? I sit reflecting on losing you!  I hope you have peace, and that you are happy my sweet Angel. I hope you know I have not ever stopped feeling you, I have never stopped loving you, and will spend the rest of my life advocating for you. For help to prevent suicide, bullying and just fucking not let your death be for nothing!  You should still be HERE!

As I listen to Rod Stewart sing, especially PT II of this song and I cry so hard,  because I can feel exactly what he is singing:  “Georgie stay, don’t  go away!”  ” Georgie please stay, you took my breath away! Please Georgie Stay!”

For almost 2 years we all did everything we could, with all our heart to help you.

STAY!!

I would try to stay with you, go to the hospital,  get you help, take you to 12 step meetings, find doctors for you, call 911 when we would get those horrible scary text messages from you saying you were going to kill yourself.  We rallied together praying that someone would find you in time!   Why did you leave us!  You didn’t have to go!   Stay, Mikey,  You took our breath away!

My heart aches to this day,  knowing you were in a dark. dark place that even I couldn’t reach you,  noone could…no love was enough for you to stay! That last night , the night you took your life, getting that call that you were in the hospital…I fell to my knees in agony, hearing her say hurry get here, it is bad!

Mikey, you didn’t stay, you took our breath away!

28 revisions on this post and still revising it is so hard to write this!